The Club Cricket Conference Yearbook 2020

- 49 - field of play for the next two sessions. Unfortunately, the Captain’s home- grown technology proved inadequate for the job and he had to arrange for American kit to replace it which would not be ready for the current test series. One big change from the first test was that the captain declared that slip cordons could now include six rather than the previous two players. However, the overseas players just ignored him and got together in a huddle and waved their “All Wickets Count” banners. The Captain was perplexed over this and considered calling the American captain for advice but, for once, made the right decision and didn’t. To justify the nonsense that they were spouting the Captain and his cohorts started saying “right-thinking people would agree that…”. Apparently right- thinking people were those who had been in the same dorm as them at school. Meanwhile, the club Treasurer who had spent all of the Club’s resources for the next two generations on providing nets for everybody in the country kept saying that he would do whatever it takes to win the test series. The “All Wickets Count” brigade turned their attentions to the statue of W.G. Grace claiming that he had, on occasion, disregarded the loss of his wicket and insisted that he continue batting at the crease. The captain found himself having to defend his idol’s untenable position, further demonstrating his lack of understanding of the modern game. Meanwhile, all this confusion was hiding the Captain’s decision to leave the ICC at the end of the year. The negotiations were being delayed and there was every likelihood that there would be no test matches against ICC international opposition next year. Secretly the captain wanted this to be the outcome since then he would then be able to organise matches against other countries.