The Twelfth Man 2011

14 boys, wardrobe are struggling for a dresser, how are you fixed?” One look at the girls, one whiff of the greasepaint and one nod between us was enough. I replied, “Well, sounds all right to me.” So Wils and I were signed up for the week. Sadly the job didn’t turn out to be quite as exotic as we’d hoped; in fact, we turned out to be more like odd job men. Geoff Cope: Against Northants at Sheffield, I didn’t bowl a ball in the morning session. As I was zooming off for lunch, Fred shouted, “Get yourself back ‘ere and sit down. You’re going to bowl this lot out this afternoon.” “But it’s seaming” said Geoff, to which Fred responded “That’s Bramall Lane early doors but there’s a bit in it for you if you bowl right in your ’ead.” The omens weren’t promising. Colin Milburn was 80- odd not out and they were 112 for none. Fred said, “Now then, tell me how you’re going to bowl at Ollie Milburn.” I thought, I just want my lunch! “Off stump, off and middle.” “Rubbish.” “Middle.” “Tha’s not even thinking abaht it. Ollie’s a one-off. Tha’s gonna bowl in at his legs because he can’t bring t’bat round his belly to bray thee. If I just let you bowl at him like you want, we haven’t enough balls on t’ground to let t’game continue past tea. Don’t worry, your Uncle Fred’s wi’ thee.” Yorkshire 1969 – under Brian Close – last of the ‘golden years’ of the 1960s